There’s only one place where you can wear practically next to nothing, in the middle of the day, in public, and get away with it. Where sipping an alcohol laden fruit cocktail mid-afternoon comes guilt-free. Where it’s easy to cast an eye over the beautiful bronzed body stretched on a towel near you. But not all beaches come with these devilish pleasures. Some are labeled ‘family-friendly’ – coded speak for busy with hoards of screaming kids. Others are packed wall-to-wall with the flab-ridden, pasty-white set.
But, if you choose well, the right beach makes a super adult playground. OK, you want to join in with the fun, so be sure to put in some serious preparation time. The fair sex will be familiar with the routine. Diet off those surplus pounds. Get waxing. Hit the shops for a serious session of wrap and bikini buying. Start applying the fake bake. If you’re a man, pump some iron to turn your pigeon-chest into rippling pecs, and your tubby midrift into abs of steel. You’re aiming to cut a swathe through the pot-bellied throng with your adonesque-like physique.
Now let’s quickly discount some also-rans, in our search for the sexiest beaches in America.
Daytona, Florida. It’s a simple choice – do you prefer to feed your gas-tank, or feed your passions. Uum, a no brainer.
Stinson Beach, Northern California. A truly happening place – well, maybe, about once a year when the icebergs drift away from shore.
Revere Beach, Boston. Choose brains before beauty? You might get lucky and find a spotty skinned MIT prof to flirt with. But not a genuinely attractive option.
Moving on to the top 3 serious contenders, in reverse order:
South Beach, Miami
South Beach is world famous as a party playground for the rich and famous. The beach itself is wide and made up of whitish (imported) sand, which can be a little coarse and hard on the feet in places. But who cares about the texture of the sand. Pick a sunbathing spot where you can clock some gorgeous hunks lifeguard training. Or watch the babelicious beauties playing beach volleyball in almost-disappearing bikinis. If life’s truly fair, a modelling scout from one of the numerous agencies will soon be over to sign you up. Take the opportunity to catch up on some ZZZs – because one thing’s for sure, you won’t be getting to bed early. For Miami Beach is home to some fantastic clubs. If you’re insanely rich, or stunningly good looking, try getting into one of the swish ones like Mynt. But you’ll have just as much of a good time at one of the less exclusive venues. A favorite of many is Crobar, groovy and fun.
Laguna Beach, Los Angeles
It’s popularity has soared thanks to the glitz and glamour portrayed in the hit MTV series Laguna Beach, the real OC. In many ways the location lives up the hype. Laguna Beach attracts a happy mix of serious A-crowd types, and sexy surf dudes. So hire a sweet-looking board, find a busy spot on the beach, then lounge back in the sand by your board. Break out a cold bottled bear from your cool box, and look friendly – a good tip is to temporarily lose your sunnies. You’ll have to blink furiously in the bright sunshine, but soon the opposite-sex will be round you like bees to a honey pot. Come up with a good line in hip sounding surf talk. If the worst comes to the worst, and you’ve no alternative to venturing into the ocean in a face-saving exercise, just bob about on your board beyond the break.
Panama City Beach, Florida
THE place to go, especially for Spring Break, but it’s pretty good many other times of the year too. During the day (if you manage to get up before sundown) just lie on the beach, soaking in the rays. Amble out for the occasional swim. Or try one of many sports such as parasailing, jet skiing, kite-surfing, snorkeling, or windsurfing. Most of the action is around the trendy and busy City and Bahama beaches. Here discreetly check out the hotties throwing frizbees. Watch some buff bodies playing beach soccer. Make new friends, and arrange to hook up with them later on in the evening. For this is when the resort comes alive – the bars are super lively, and the clubs really buzzing.
Panama City Beach wins hands down because it’s where absolutely everyone can go and have a good time. No need to look around you and feel your self-esteem ebbing away as you cast envy-ridden glances at the minted and bling-ridden. It’s just a wicked place to party.
Article written by Andy Woodspot